Brain Farts

Your monthly dose... ^_^

2009-07-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

wow! exactly a month since my last post :P

so basically I'll just make a list of what has happened for the past month. Because I'm too tired to write long paragraphs.

1) got a raise - nothing significant, percentage wise it's bigger than the rest... but my salary base is low so it nullifies the high percentage.

2) got my performance bonus (yey!) but most of it went to my Japan fund, so now I have enough for fare and accomodations... now all I need is pocket money :P

3) planning out my Japan trip. hehehehe XD called up a few travel agencies that offer japan packages... and they are expensive T_T but I think I can survive 6 days in Japan with my sister (yes I am bringing her along since I'll be adding 130$ in airfare if I go alone, so it's cheaper).

4) I got bangs! :P which I post somewhere and hope to show iya and belle since they don't see me on a daily basis.

5) Getting the tired-of-my-job-but-won't-complain-if-you-make-it-worth-my-time sickness... in other words... make my salary higher than it is now! It seems that I'm earning under the "market value" of my job.

6) Been on time for work just once this week. I think it's a manifestation of my #5 sickness.

7) Some days at the office are a struggle. Some days they're ok, like I get along with the people well. At some days, I feel so off and lazy that I only do facebook at post in some BB's. Another manifestation of #5.

8) having another bout of loneliness. It's not the typical I need a friend loneliness. It's more of the I need a boyfriend type of loneliness. Of course there's Mabo to keep me pre-occupied like reading stuff about him, but that's all there is to it. But what's a JE idol that's living 1800 miles north of me, compared to someone who's really here. It's different, I'm just fangirling Mabo nothing more. *sigh* but I'm actually wishing that I had someone right now.

9) This is related to my #8 *knocks her head twice* Reality check for me. Mabo's a JE idol and I'm just me :P and the probability of meeting him is close to one in a billion. And they usually avoid fangirls :P But I would hope that I would get to meet him or someone from JE preferrably Nagase or Taichi or Gusan or Toma or Maru or Massu or Jin or Ohkura or even Yuu *sigh*. Sige I'll add Yamapi too :P And I'm back to fangirling. hahaha.

It seems that I should be doing higher pursuits, thinking about what could further my career and build on that in order to reach my goal. But what is my real goal? I don't even know the answer to that. I mean setting a goal for Japan was good, but what happens next after I get to go there? Resuming my goal of having a family and kids at the age of 30 or so? :P well as of the moment, they don't sound so appealing right now. There's also the goal of opening my own restaurant/cafe of sorts, but good luck on that as I don't have the money for it, so that'll take sometime.

I just want a companion right now, someone who just knows when something is wrong and just give you a hug without even talking. I'm too much of an idealist, these type of guys don't even exist, well they do but they're rarely found as single. I just want somebody to love and for that someone to love me.

Monthly post! Bah!

2009-06-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

And yet again I forgot my monthly post. I was supposed to make one on the 31st... but procrastination got the best of me. And hopefully I can make two posts this month of June :). I think I should start practicing my photography, but I haven't had the chance. It seems that nature has a way of discouraging most of the trips that I'm planning to take. I do plan on taking them, it's just a matter of when and who I'll probably be with (that's because I probably won't get my parent's blessing on going on a trip alone but I do plan on doing it someday). Anyhoo, places I want to go this year?

1. Dasol
Due to bad weather my trip was canceled and basically we still haven't set a date because it's the rainy season na. It's with my officemate... and hopefully we'll get to take some awesome photos there.

2. Bohol
It's a semi-planned trip to be taken on August this year... we still need to book the flights though. There's 6 of us who plan on going. Now all we need is constant communication.

3. Hongkong (ulit?!)
Well I told my dad that he should treat us to a family trip to Hongkong... but since there is the onslaught of the AH1N1 virus, he'll probably bail out. not a problem since there's always next year! hehehehe :D

Just another random run

2009-04-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

1. I'm addicted to Beyonce's Halo.
I'm having a phase where I have this one song playing on loop over and over and over again. I'm not sure why but I like listening to this song. It's just a feel good song.

2. I'm currently eating apple chips.
I bought a bag of apple chips like two weeks ago. And basically, they're like potato chips but they just used apple. And this is the only time that I got to open it, and I'm munching away. *tries to stop herself from muching the whole bag* sugar is bad for me, since my blood sugar is over the normal limit. hehe

3. I finished my photography workshop.
I finally graduated from my workshop, despite me being absent on the fourth saturday. Ok, I have to admit that I was completely lazy that day, and I guess I missed a lot since there was the ICS poses that were taught, etc. But no worries, it was a missed opportunity so no use sourgraping about it. Though I plan on attending a free workshop about food photography on the 23 of May :).

4. I want to go on a hiatus, like a month or so.
Well more like a long vacation where I'd just be by myself and take a lot of pictures. Landscape photos mayhaps? I'm tired of being in the work force... and honestly I was a bit burned out this week as there was a deadline on friday and a deadline on my photos (which I know I should've done during the holy week but it was too hot for me). And next week? well we have two more jobs that we need to finish by the end of the week. *sigh*

Random thoughts and rants

2009-03-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

It's been over two months since I last made an entry. I actually promised myself that I would make at least a post in every month. Once a week is too much for me ^_^ Laziness probably? Or maybe just the inferiority complex of not being a good writer at all :P As if someone would bother reading this right?

Anywho here are just some random thoughts that are going into my head:

1) I can't say no to people.
I can't remember as to when I actually said yes or no when I really wanted to say yes or no. Lately as much as I wanted to say no or yes, I always end up saying what they expect me to say (and that's usually a yes). And after that I'd end up regretting saying yes because it wasn't what I wanted to really say at all. Take for example, my officemate's wedding, at that time she gave an invitation I said yes. At the back of my mind though I thought I wouldn't that be comfortable at the wedding at all. Why? well there would be people from office too but I do not really talk to them that much and basically I'd be in a dress which at the moment wasn't fond of wearing. By the time the weekend of the wedding came, I ended up making some lame excuse as to why I couldn't not to go.

2) I think I really need a long vacation, like a month or so before going back to the workforce.
I need a break. I just want to stop pretending and just be my lazy self who likes to take a lot of pictures of different places. If only I had a lot of money to spend right? Or maybe I just need be myself again and think of what I really need and want to do. But doing something I want isn't a luxury that I have right now. Well for one thing, my mom's always breathing down my neck as to why I haven't started applying at BSP (like it's that easy to get in there *sigh*). Maybe I could talk to my dad about taking a break, maybe then I could collect my thoughts and be my old workaholic self again.

3) On a lighter note, I've started to appreciate Jpop music despite the language barrier.
I've been listening to Jpop music since the end of January. It was all due to an office mate of mine who was into Jdoramas. Eventually, I became addicted to the music of a edgy Jpop/Jrock band. And being the rock-ish person I actually liked the melody of the songs. And I ended up researching the meaning of the lyrics and liked them even more. And now I ended up being a fan (girl? *cough*) of the drummer of the band. Of course there are other artists that I like too like Flumpool, Do As Infinity and some L'Arc En Ciel. Maybe I'll try Mr. Children next time. And this has made me trying to save up for a trip to Japan next year.

4) I'm taking up photography lessons to express the artist in me.
Since I bought an DSLR last December '08 I've been itching to attend that photography workshop that came with the camera. And so far so good. I'm actually liking the class and I'm learning a lot with it. Well, except for that certain guy that I'm starting to get irritated with. Why? well because he's becoming an obnoxious artsy person that just wants to makes photographs that will win contests, so eventually he'd become a pro. I'm sorry but I just want to say to him that not everybody in the class wants to become a pro like he does. So he should just shut up. I mean I am serious about photography, but I'm not really gonna make it my life. Does he even stop and appreciate the pictures taken by his groupmates? To each his own I guess. I don't really like taking pictures with him. Two more saturday's then.

5) I'm slowly re-discovering myself again.
It seems that when I thought I knew myself well enough, I do something that makes me rethink everything again. Before I really thought that I would like to work in a corporate setting, I mean since I was studying biology I didn't want to wear scrubs at all. I imagined myself working in a cubicle, doing stuff like accounting. But then after I graduated and got into the workforce, I enjoyed it for a while. And then I ended up thinking that the corporate world was fake. And during my free time I wanted to try cooking and baking stuff. I really enjoyed it. And other people enjoyed the food I cooked too. And then there's photography, I do enjoy taking still life pictures. Although portraits are cool too but I think that I'd better stick to the more cooperative subjects (ones that don't move). So that got me thinking if I should delve more into food photography? Or just put up my own resto, though that would be quite expensive and cash is something that I don't have.

6) I miss some of my friends.
It seems that some of them, well I guess we're not on the same level anymore. But I guess some people just move on from their lives. It's ok I guess, at least I still have the important ones with me :), and that's all that matters. Though I'm not really sure why they put up with me :P

Mad

2009-01-19T03:21:00.000-08:00

So I've been playing this song on loop in my cellphone (heehee cause I haven't fixed my pc yet so I can't update my Ipod). It's my LSS :P but I just like listening to it, makes me feel want to sing hahahahaha. I have to say that I always like NeYo's songs like So Sick, Go On Girl, Because of You. It's just makes you want to listen and hum along to his music all day long. heehee I wished that I got to see his concert here. But then again, I had work then and no money to buy a ticket :P Maybe I'll get the chance to watch again, provided that he's going to perform here again in Manila.

so... yun lang :P trying to squeeze something out but I really can't find a topic to post ^_^

Very Merry Christmas!

2008-12-26T06:49:00.000-08:00

So it's the holiday season and I've been wrapping gifts non-stop for my nieces and nephews from my mother side. Well, they're mostly the kids of my cousins' from the mother side. But majority of the gifts I wrapped was for immediate family like my dad, my mum, ates', rhine (brother in law), ayi and the newest addition to our family Baby Liana. However, baby Liana can't really appreciate the gifts because she is still a baby.

So what's the sense of this post? actually it's just a crap post cause my thoughts are currently disorganized. Thinking about my new niece that's in the hospital (she was one week pre-mature). My prospect at work that I usually end up ignoring all because I don't want to be that obvious (i knoooow). My diet that was put on hold (you don't have to tell me). The haircut that was also put on hold because of my diet ^_^. The stuff that I need to bring home to the province because of all the clutter here in my room. What to pack since we're leaving for the province tomorrow. What do I need to bring just so I won't get bored for the next 8 days at our house in the province. Should I get a UV filter for my camera or would a polarized suffice? Will I get the chance to go around and take pictures with my camera?

So many things to do, so little time. :P oh well.

A Very Clean Cut!

2008-12-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

So here's the story of how I have finally found my real closure.

Being a person who is innately curious (and apparently had nothing to do with her spare time), I couldn't help but look at his myspace profile yet again. And there I saw an I love you message from a girl who was in the same area as he was at the same time I sent my email to him. I was literally dumbfounded, and then called up Kuya and then I felt so happy for myself.

As per my previous post, I have obviously told everybody including myself that I am over him. Well, yes to a certain point. Of course there's that "thing" that still lingers. I couldn't call it love nor would I call it anger or any other emotion that would register whenever there are issues in the matters of the heart. But I guess the closest would be guilt? I mean what if he didn't and he's waiting, blah blah blah. That kind of stuff that you usually feel during the post break up phase. But this feeling was on an extended phase, like two years extended *tsk tsk* for me right?

So my main point? I lingered too long. Apparently I was easily replaced. And the funny thing is, I feel dumb and happy at the same time. Is there such an emotion? I guess because I'm feeling that emotion right now. I feel dumb because I obviously was the only one who was holding on, when I was already replaced by someone else, easily might I add. But I'm also happy, because now I really can move on. It didn't hurt as I expected it to be. Like the times where he'd be gone for months and I'd be worried and all that. It's like a burden was lifted off my chest.

And honestly, I couldn't care less if he answered my email or not. ^_^ So here's to you! Thanks! and I'm not being sarcastic about it. I'm not mad, just simply happy now. Because I know I'm able to find someone better now.

It's Official: we have a recession!

2008-12-02T05:28:00.000-08:00

No, I am not going to talk about how the US has declared a recession yesterday. I mean on a more personal level, I will declare my own personal recession. Recession when it comes to the matters of the heart. Recession meaning I have to start from the bottom again :P But a clean slate is better than going on and on about something that you're not really sure of anymore (right?).

It's official kids! He's now a closed chapter in my life. Finally I have the closure I was looking for. It just makes me sad that he saw me as insignificant to just cut off like that, just like what he did with other people he knew (Geddemet! I know I deserve better than that!). And so I know that somewhere, sometime (soon I hope) I'll find that someone who'll cherish me and who I will love more than him. Someone who will not only fill the hole but as if I had a brand new heart because he'll help me pick up those broken shards, no matter how sharp they might be, and piece it back together.

But for now, I guess I'll just be satisfied with just living my life as it should be, with my family and friends.

Am listening to Leona Lewis' "Better in Time". Just humor me on this *emo mode*.

~Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time

Since there’s no more you and me
It’s time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I’ll be fine without you
Yes I will

Closure?

2008-11-30T18:16:00.000-08:00

On November 26th, when I got home from work, I got online in my Dad's laptop and started surfing away. Of course, there's looking for songs to add in my Imeem playlist, reading up on my emails, friendster (a staple for some people). And yet for some unknown reason, I couldn't help but search my ex's profile in MySpace.com. I know I shouldn't have but maybe at the back of my mind I wanted to see how he is. Is he still alive? well the primary question is, has he moved on? or is he also like me that's still trying to move on despite two years of not talking.

And I ended up finding his profile since his profile was on the first pages of the search (what did expect right?). My first reaction was shock as in literally I said "OMG! it is him!". He looked ok, well I'm not going to lie, he looked absolutely happy. Ok looks like he has moved on with his life. So what am I going to do next?

And so for the next days, it was a never-ending battle of emailing him or not. A lot of my friends told me it was not worth it, since he clearly didn't want to do anything with me. Two years is a long time, I have to admit that fact. And if he wanted to re-establish our friendship, he would have contacted me in the first place when he got the chance to go online. My bestfriend even saw him online in YM, she said "hi" and never got a reply. So I think the finality of it was there.

But being the stubborn me, I decided to drop him a mail. Despite the warnings of all of them (my friends know me all too well when it comes to this guy), I sent a friendly email. And honestly, he hasn't replied (what did I expect?). So I think this is my closure. I did make that last effort to resuscitate something even the friendship. But we both know that friendship wouldn't actually do (who am I kidding right?). So this is for the best. And now I can say that I can move on.

btw, am listening to little bit's "Forget About Me" on loop.

28 years 1 month and 1 day

2008-10-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a month and a day since I turned 28, 3 more years bago mawala sa kalendaryo and masasama na sa lotto :P tama nga bang mag count down?

Of course, I started na with my new job. :) less stressful sa dati kong work. But I still miss the people from my team. The people I work with are ok too, kasi mga outgoing silang tao :) siguro tama din na di lang sa harap ng pc lagi. Wasn't that what I wanted in the first place? And it's good thing kasi I got back to my hobby of reading books ^_^. I feel so outdated na kasi eh :p kahit recent na sine di ko mapanood. So I bought a book of stephanie meyer, and may I say ang hirap hanapin ng twilight sa mega! so napadpad ako sa fully booked sa the block, and finally nakabili na rin ako.

But had a small bout of depression these past few days. dala ng pagbasa ko ng libro ni stephanie meyer. don't get me wrong! I absolutely like the book and the series itself! Tipong dalwang gabi lang tapos ko na yung unang libro nya. But then again, all this reading about love has made me feel even more lonely... hay ang sad. I absolutely feel like a lunatic na. Pati ba naman characters sa libro kinaiinggitan ko pa.

Actually naiinggit ako kasi kung ano yung meron si Bella at Edward, gusto ko din nun!!! hahahaha :P siyempre being 28 doesn't really help talga. *sigh* I feel like a manang na. Or maybe ako lang nag iisip nun? Mind over matter! :P

and speaking of mind over matter, decided to go on a disciplined diet. hehehe balik pagiging healthy na naman ako. And it really helps na may treadmill dito sa bahay para di na punta ng gym ng maaga :P well wish me luck!

Moving On...

2008-09-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

Birthdays...

It is an excuse to catch up with people you havan't really seen for quite some time. :) And it was actually good to see them again.

Of course when people catch up, you talk about work. You talk about how things have been; how's the wife/hubby; kids(?); boyfriend/girlfried, etc. etc. But when you're single, well it's a whole different! You talk about:

1) work - YES
2) current events - depends
3) other friends who aren't there - YES
4) non-existent sex life - 50/50
5) and lastly your love lives - 110% YES

so main topic of conversation on my birthday: have we really moved on?

for some... yes.
for some... getting there.
for some... no.
for some... they refuse to do so.

where do I fall on these categories? probably on the getting there. I know I should be on the yes category. But basing on their and my definition of "having moved on"? I fall on getting there. There is that word "Closure" that people commonly say that I haven't really done yet. Well more or less because we didn't have the chance to get that closure. Or maybe I'm just the one that doesn't have that closure?

I mean I still feel a tinge of sadness when I think of the guy. Maybe it's because I lost someone who knew me or maybe just the fact na nawalan ako ng isang dream. More of the latter than the former, I guess.

But the more I'm thinking about it now, in exchange for getting one dream, I had to give up another. I mean that would be too selfish if I passed the board, had a great job and still get the guy right? hahahaha Siguro sabi ni Lord, "Tama na muna yung una. Enjoy the gift I gave you. Don't be too greedy now!"

Things will fall into place. I guess that's one thing that I have to think in order to keep on moving forward and eventually move on.

6 days...

2008-09-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

6 days...

not worried about turning another year older...

not worried about changing my job from one company to another...

not worried about my lovelife... ok, I would be lying if I said I'm not worried. rephrasing...

SLIGHTLY worried about my lovelife.

other than that, I think I'm blessed with a great family, good friends and all in all a good life.

now all I need to think about is... magpapakain pa ba ako?

hahahahahaha... dang birthdays!

Time for a change is at hand...

2008-09-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

So for the last two posts, I've been complaining about my job, well more like my direct superior :P

And now, I've decided to do something about it. I'm resigning by the 15th of October and will be starting my new job at the Fort, Taguig, probably a several days after. Hopefully they'll allow me to rest up a bit before formally starting my job.

So what is this new job? Well for starters, I'll be a staff accountant for a well-known law firm in 70 countries. We're actually the Global Service Centre for this law firm. And my boss is in the US.

So how did it go with my direct superior? hehe she couldn't react, that's because she's outside the country in training. And basically, she doesn't know yet(hehe). But I already told my officemates, Rein and Cathie about the move. Also I told my Manager that I was planning to move to another company.

Actually I am thankful that she didn't want to hold me and let me stay in GSC, because she knew that the pay wasn't that great. And she knew that she couldn't offer me more due to "Streamline" aka cost cutting.

So I have 30 days to train someone to become a new Superuser. I have asked Rein but I'm not really sure if she'll agree but probably not. I did offer that I come by after work for the first two weeks, just to check up on them. I mean I learned a lot from this company and I think it would be best if from time to time I could check with them on how things are going. We're still friends and as a friend, I am willing to help out once in a while.

Anyway I have to get some shuteye because I have to go to the office at two and I have to sign the Job offer first before going to the office.

The trip to Hongkong? I'd probably post it on a latter date. But just a gist, typhoon signal 9 was raised when we were there.

Let's Sit and talk a while...

2008-07-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

Since I have been primarily complaining about my job to my peers, and how there is no actually division of labor. Oh wait! Let me correct myself there is some division of labor... that's 90% for me and 10% for her. Anywho, I have decided to talk to my supervisor with regards to the dissatisfaction that I am feeling with my job. I told her that I am getting tired of it all and that I am keeping my options open. I wanted a day job and something less stressful. I told her all my angsts with regards to my direct superior, to my peers, my workload and salary (siyempre!). I didn't want to cry but lately it seems that nagiging iyakin na naman ako. *sigh* I did mentioned that I already opened my resume in Jobstreet pero sa totoo I've been applying around na.

I have been sending out resumes to different companies. There was one in Columbia tower in Ortigas. I was finished with the exam and was quietly passing time. And so I heard her superior (HR manager) talking to the person who interviewed me. Maybe they were thinking that I was still busy with my exam, so I eavesdropped. Sabi ng superior nya, "I think you made a mistake in getting this girl. I mean wala pa siyang one year in the company and umaalis na siya. And ano bang ginagawa nya dun?". When I heard those words it was a wake up call for me. As in, I left the interview and I decided not to work for that company any longer. How judgemental di ba? Pero I guess that's how it is in our corporate society. Also siguro sabi na rin ni God, that I stop looking for options muna. Try to finish what I've started, and not run away or hide away like I always do.

I have to admit, I'm the type of person that gets affected if someone else doesn't perform well. Because I care about my team and I want them to care about their job. But apparently there are some people that just get the job kasi it builds up their resume. At first I was guilty of that kasi I was thinking that I'll be getting more once I leave the company. Pero eventually I liked the people I worked with, and I decided to wait na rin. Pero it's the frustration of it all that's getting to me honestly that's why I want to get away.

I mean in a very ideal world, hindi ba mas maganda na magtrabaho ka where you actually enjoy the work? But why is it that there are still people that think of themselves. Nakakainis lang. And honestly I see that in my boss and it reflects. Biro mo they'll be applying again at the job portal ever so often. Stepping stone lang pala. Or maybe I'm just being naive about the whole thing. Ako lang pala ang nag iisip ng ganito and the rest just wants to get a job just for the sake of getting a job. Kaya nga siguro "ideal" lang siya.

Iba na naman ba topic? I guess ganyan ka-disorganized utak ko ngayon... Maybe I should just stop thinking and just do... tas tignan na lang natin result.

One Month after... Me thinks a change is at hand!

2008-07-06T17:08:00.001-07:00

Couldn't believe it's already a month after my post. *blink blink* I guess since I got promoted, I had little time to myself, even little time to post in my blog. I'm not going to rant about my job anymore, becase the more I rant the more I'm going to be negative about it.

Anywho, on to the updates of my life... nothing significant has happened to my life. It's just an endless cycle of work-home-work-home every single day. I have no social life. My only social life is work, and it doesn't really count. And I've been thinking of getting a normal day job. Here are my pro's and con's about it:

PRO's:
1)I will have a social life as in get to talk to my friends. (hehe talgang top priority eh)
2)I will have normal sleeping hours.
3)I won't get to use my car much because I'll be commuting (safe hours pa yun).
4)As an after effect, I won't get to use a lot of money on gas and parking hence I could save money.
5)New environment. New chances.

CON's:
1)No leave credits. Start from scratch.
2)New interaction with people at new job. (not sure if there will be good chemistry)
3)Probably a lower salary or just the same.
4)Overall, just getting back to zero.
5)Loss of chance to go overseas to be trained (haha pangarap ko lang yan pero malabong mangyari sa office dahil sa intsik manager namin)

If there's anything you can add to my list, I'd gladly appreciate it.

But I did try on applying to AIM as a Finance associate. Kaya lang, I withdrew my application. Ewan ko ba, it just didn't feel right, tsaka tinamaan ako ng katamaran. More on the latter than the former, because honestly I'd rather stay home and sleep/relax than go to an interview at 830 in the morning. *sigh*

I feel I should stay at the office, at the minimum till September. But it's getting hard for me to pull it all together though (as in depress-depressan ang lola mo). Not sure if it's the pressure or talgang pagod na ako. My job is sucking the life out of me. I really think it's time for a change kaya lang iniisip ko ang mga magiging could've beens if I leave na. *sigh*

8 days after D-Day

2008-06-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's my mom's birthday today... And all I can think about is work. What more needs to be done. What could I have done better. OMG! I am turning into a workaholic. Or maybe it's just that fact that handling the migration for practically 7 countries is starting to get to me. *sigh* I just want to ask... asan na ang hatian ng countries?! asan na?! at least Rein helps me out a lot during the migration. She helps out a loooooooooooooooot! especially when I really there are a lot of things to be done. But she'll be on am shift for the next three days. :) I really have to get things together.

status reports, performing payruns, talking to location. I don't even know when to start. and I have a feeling that my status report isn't good enough. Why? Isn't it quite insulting that your boss would say that she's currently editing it. I mean who wouldn't be stressed out. I can't even start to handle and assist the people that I've trained. I do try my best to put all the issues that I know of. And then the bosses start reminding me that I shouldn't be directly speaking to them. Wait they contacted me first. What the hell do they want me to say? say that they should just contact the Migration Manager because that would be the proper thing to do. Wait... maybe I should do just that then maybe my life would be a lot better!

I mean honestly what do they expect me to do? my other boss leaves at 5 am. I handle all the issues regarding the migration. And there is no actual SOP in the upload of Bank payments? What more do they want from me? develop an SOP? I already made an SOP regarding their manual upload. And I haven't encountered such a step. (Ano pa ba kelangan nila sa akin di ba?!) And argh! it just makes me want shout, and throw in the towel and say "I quit!". That's how frustrated I am right now.

*sigh* must not think of work... Mom's birthday! be happy... not stressed out. Happy birthday Mom! wish I had the time to buy you a gift. But my sister said she didn't have the time. Sure, Ok... @%$#&! anywho, have to get ready for church. till the next post.

We're going to Baguio!

2008-05-11T05:57:00.000-07:00

In my previous post I was getting all excited about our trip to beautiful City of Pines. Sad to say, the greeting that we got really wasn't that lovely. By the time we got to the Lion's Head in Kennon Road, it started to rain. Still rained when we got to Camp John Hay. So we decided to eat at the Commissary in John Hay... Dencio's was the only feasible option. We were sixth in line, and they were all big groups, so we decided to eat at SM (Hahaha, I know pumunta lang ng Baguio para lang mag-SM, how ironic.). But there were still a lot of people because it was a Mallwide 3-day Sale. Still we ended up eating at Dencios (sana inantay na lang namin yung turn namin sa John Hay). By 3 or 4 pm, it rained really hard, as in zero visibility. So it was a good thing we were their so we wouldn't get bored. By 4 pm we went looking for the house we booked for the weekend. It took us probably an hour and a half to actually look for the place.

By the time we got there, we were all tired because most of them were in the graveyard shift. And they wanted to sleep. Anyway, by 8 pm some of the group decided to buy stuff at the night market in session road. So I had an hour and a half to take a rest and just talk before me and Kuya Tony down a bottle of tequila :P (yes 2 lang po kami, and by 1 am ako na lang mag isa). By 10 pm, more or less some people went to bed but at that time things got to be fun. hahahahaha in what way? just imagine a colleague dancing the locomotion. And this was just after an hour or so of drinking vodka. It was so much fun that by the time I woke up at 630 am, my stomach was full of gas (ganun katindi...).

On to the next day, itinerary (which I planned out to save gas)...
1) Strawberry Farm (first time to get here but it's too bad they won't let you pick strawberries anymore... should've done this years ago...)
2) Lourdes Grotto (Huzzah! i climbed the 100 steps, but I had several pitstops :P)
3) The Mansion (siyempre parang kelangan naman ata puntahan yun kahit sa labas lang)
4) Wright Park (have to post the picture of Jay looking like Juan tamad waiting for the Guava to fall down but instead it was a sunflower... looks really hilarious)
5) Mines View Park (so most people were doing their shopping here but honestly, they're a lot cheaper in Maharlika Complex)
6) Good Sheperd Convent (Ubeeeeeeeeeee Jaaaaaaaaaaaaam... long line but definitely worth it)
7) Maharlika Complex (Shopping for pasalubong galore!!!!)
8) Burnham Park (meet up for meeting... -_-)

So what was this meeting all about? I definitely want to put this here... So our dear supervisor actually wanted to go home after we finished our itinerary (she told me that while we were in mines view...) imagine my shock, but I didn't mind it because it wasn't my manager who wanted to go home. By 4 pm she sent us an SMS saying that we had to go home. -_- she did that while we were having fun shopping in Maharlika. Honestly, we were so pissed off that I ignored here SMS' and her calls. *sigh* Anyway it was decided that 4 of them use the other van and we'd cram ourselves in our van (11 people!). Enough of the fight... everybody reached a resolution. But of course we were pissed big time. But after that we still had fun shopping around :P I bought a faux louis vuitton bag for just 280. ehehehe saw a second hand genuine one for like 5k, kudos for fake ones ^_^.

Anyway by 3 am, we left for Manila and we got here before 9 am. Huzzah for kuya tony! I actually had a good time there. I was able to relax, save for the stress I experienced when they wanted to go home. I got to laugh a lot and genuinely forget about work ever for a little bit. Save for the aspect that I got drunk and... hmm... :P it's a good thing that he wasn't the person I actually sent an SMS to. But thanks to my trustable kuya, you showed me the light! :) what would I do if you weren't there. So now, I'm totally sober... and trying to finish this post :P hahahahahaha Ciao!

Looking forward to the long weekend and...

2008-05-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

*stretches from one side to the other* *yawn*

Holiday on May 1. Leave for May 2 was approved. Certainly feels good that I'll be taking a break from work even for 2 days. I'm also looking forward to the trip that me and my teammates are going to take this weekend. Too bad he won't be coming... hahahahaha (my secret to keep). Wanted him to, but he had prior commitments. `Sides we're just friends (ang plastic no?).

Honestly hope this is going to be a good weekend. *prays to God* "Please please please don't let it rain this weekend" Just want to enjoy, have fun, de-stress, even just before I start training people and the Cluster 5 roll out this June. Just thinking about it is starting to stress me out. shigaretto! shigaretto! lots and lots of it! I'm making a promise to myself that I am going to enjoy this weekend, no matter what happens! :) :) :)

OK! this may seem superficial but I have to put this in. WT... Jennifer Anniston and John Mayer?! Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey engaged?! ZOMG !!! Paula Abdul saying she didn't like the first song and then liked the second song for an AI finalist? But he only sang one song... ADIIIIIIIK! I just can't help it, especially when you're watching E! News. I admit I am a Hollywood chismis addict. I can't help it! I just want to see some sort of flaw in those people that live oh-so perfect lives. hahahaha! So much for wishing other people good. And now I see my crush Fall out Boy bassist, Pete Wentz getting engaged to Ashlee Simpson?! Nooooooooooooo!!!! Another dream shot down. But wait, most Hollywood marriages have an average life span of 3 years. Look at what happened to her sister, and his comment about her "kinda like a super assistant that you can have *bleep* with" *nod me* pede pa... *evil grin*

Ok, isn't this is just plain irritating? Would a guy in his right mind send you SMS's like:

"Do you know what happens when you hurt people? They may begin to love you less and worst they begin to forget that they loved you once..."

"I guess love does fade. That sometimes the heart does get tired of longing. Of hoping. That sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that some things can never be and that you should be contented with things as they are. Leaving is a choice. But can never really ask someone to stay or to leave. It's a choice they have to make for themselves and sometimes, no matter how much you beg someone to stay or how hard you try to make someone leave. You really have no control on what they choose."

*keeps calm* as they would say, SMS lang yan! stop over analyzing the whole thing. *frowns at herself* this is so bad for me. I am not Joe the Mango and I am definitely not Dr. Love. But I could volunteer as a replacement for the girl who did that to you *gulong gulong*

Anyway, change topic. I want to watch "Sex and the City" the movie. Definitely something that I would really want to watch, I've been a fan of the show since... forever? I actually cried when I watched the last episode, that's because Big and Carrie got back together in Paris and also I wanna know how Samantha's younger model BF, cause he was so sweet.

Speaking of movies, I don't get why Robert Downey Jr. is IRONMAN. I just don't know why. Though I can't really think of a guy that should portray IRONMAN, but he definitely didn't cross my mind as the lead character. Maybe they're trying the cost-benefit theory wasn't just working for them. Till next post then!

After a long long long long long time...

2008-04-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

After a year of hiatus from writing, have decided that it's high time to blog again. Of course, I did have those once in a blue moon brain farts where one attempts to express your thoughts into literary pieces but I just end up deleting them. Why? I guess they just were just the same things from what I previously wrote. Yes, all that angry, depressing, disturbing self righteous things that I wrote. (not going to tell you the link cause I've hidden them all except for my LJ account)

Well, `nuff about introductions. A lot has happened in my life in the past years. I guess a run thru would be appropriate:

Graduated University. Reviewed for the board exams. Failed. Reviewed again. Finally passed. Went Job hunting. Got my first job. Resigned after a month. Eventually found another job and been working there ever since.

I got to meet a lot of people. Some around my age group, some younger, some older. I always thought that the professional world would be a lot more different from what I've grown accustomed to. Truth is, the setting may have changed but the rules are still the same. It's a battle of how well you use your 'smarts' aka brain/wit/intelligence/mind and also how well you interact with the people around you. No matter where you go, you'll always meet people who think they're smarter than you, who think that you're smarter, and those who think you're just another nameless face in an endless sea of people aka ordinary. It's actually how you show them that their perception of you is wrong or right. And it's a plus if you genuinely like your job, then you'd be sure to show your real potential. And you can actually say "wuzaah! in your face!" hehe

On a retrospective note (cause I always try to reminisce in my blogs), I always wished that I would just be one of those nameless faces in a crowd. Growing up I always was under the constant pressure of excelling in things especially in my academics, always competing, always having attention, always under scrutiny. Eventually I did get my wish, I did get to be part of the crowd. But then I realized that I just didn't want to be part of the crowd, I wanted to stand out! I wanted it to be just like the way it was before but by that time I was already just another nameless face, because at that time there were others a lot better than I was. Talk about not knowing what one really wants... :P Imagine that dilemma. And every time I tried hard, it seems that it just wasn't enough. Still isn't enough to get what I wanted. But during those days, I didn't know what I exactly wanted, so how could I actually know if it really was enough?

Now? let's just say I'm inching my way onto getting what I want. I am getting there. And this time I really know what I want. It's like everything is slowly falling into place, one by one. It's not really bad once you get used to the world and all it's quirks. Getting mad would only get you nowhere. Heh, I sound like a preacher. But don't get me wrong, I'm still cynical but I guess I have mellowed down a bit.

Also, It's about time for me to just go back to writing. I've re-read my previous journals. And believe me, they really weren't that pretty of a picture of life. Most of them, rants, peeves and of course my long time depression, my obsessions (",). I guess most people would actually find this blog boring, because they wouldn't get any juicy out of it. haha!

And with this I end my first official entry to a new blog. I do hope I will get to maintain this one!