Very Merry Christmas!

So it's the holiday season and I've been wrapping gifts non-stop for my nieces and nephews from my mother side. Well, they're mostly the kids of my cousins' from the mother side. But majority of the gifts I wrapped was for immediate family like my dad, my mum, ates', rhine (brother in law), ayi and the newest addition to our family Baby Liana. However, baby Liana can't really appreciate the gifts because she is still a baby.

So what's the sense of this post? actually it's just a crap post cause my thoughts are currently disorganized. Thinking about my new niece that's in the hospital (she was one week pre-mature). My prospect at work that I usually end up ignoring all because I don't want to be that obvious (i knoooow). My diet that was put on hold (you don't have to tell me). The haircut that was also put on hold because of my diet ^_^. The stuff that I need to bring home to the province because of all the clutter here in my room. What to pack since we're leaving for the province tomorrow. What do I need to bring just so I won't get bored for the next 8 days at our house in the province. Should I get a UV filter for my camera or would a polarized suffice? Will I get the chance to go around and take pictures with my camera?

So many things to do, so little time. :P oh well.

A Very Clean Cut!

So here's the story of how I have finally found my real closure.

Being a person who is innately curious (and apparently had nothing to do with her spare time), I couldn't help but look at his myspace profile yet again. And there I saw an I love you message from a girl who was in the same area as he was at the same time I sent my email to him. I was literally dumbfounded, and then called up Kuya and then I felt so happy for myself.

As per my previous post, I have obviously told everybody including myself that I am over him. Well, yes to a certain point. Of course there's that "thing" that still lingers. I couldn't call it love nor would I call it anger or any other emotion that would register whenever there are issues in the matters of the heart. But I guess the closest would be guilt? I mean what if he didn't and he's waiting, blah blah blah. That kind of stuff that you usually feel during the post break up phase. But this feeling was on an extended phase, like two years extended *tsk tsk* for me right?

So my main point? I lingered too long. Apparently I was easily replaced. And the funny thing is, I feel dumb and happy at the same time. Is there such an emotion? I guess because I'm feeling that emotion right now. I feel dumb because I obviously was the only one who was holding on, when I was already replaced by someone else, easily might I add. But I'm also happy, because now I really can move on. It didn't hurt as I expected it to be. Like the times where he'd be gone for months and I'd be worried and all that. It's like a burden was lifted off my chest.

And honestly, I couldn't care less if he answered my email or not. ^_^ So here's to you! Thanks! and I'm not being sarcastic about it. I'm not mad, just simply happy now. Because I know I'm able to find someone better now.

It's Official: we have a recession!

No, I am not going to talk about how the US has declared a recession yesterday. I mean on a more personal level, I will declare my own personal recession. Recession when it comes to the matters of the heart. Recession meaning I have to start from the bottom again :P But a clean slate is better than going on and on about something that you're not really sure of anymore (right?).

It's official kids! He's now a closed chapter in my life. Finally I have the closure I was looking for. It just makes me sad that he saw me as insignificant to just cut off like that, just like what he did with other people he knew (Geddemet! I know I deserve better than that!). And so I know that somewhere, sometime (soon I hope) I'll find that someone who'll cherish me and who I will love more than him. Someone who will not only fill the hole but as if I had a brand new heart because he'll help me pick up those broken shards, no matter how sharp they might be, and piece it back together.

But for now, I guess I'll just be satisfied with just living my life as it should be, with my family and friends.

Am listening to Leona Lewis' "Better in Time". Just humor me on this *emo mode*.

~Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time

Since there’s no more you and me
It’s time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I’ll be fine without you
Yes I will